True Worshipers

One month. I've seen God's promise of a new generation for Mexico come to life. That God's eyes search the earth for true worshipers, hearts that are after His and are willing to give everything.

I want to be that worshiper, to worship Him in Spirit and Truth. I've been digging deep to learn what that means for months. Music doesn't necessarily have anything to do with true worship, but I've found with a guitar in hand and my kids waiting for a leader God puts a magnifying glass on my heart.
And I cannot do it until I'm dead first. Until I've surrendered it all before His throne, I'm not free to sing, or strum or lead. Because it's not me leading anything, it's Him.

It was an ugly, precious process. One night after, in a conflict with my worship partner and buckling under pressure, I fled to the roof. And cried out to God. He freed me to talk to Him as never before, and then I dared to ask "what to you like about me?" I would not make it up, I ached for his affirmation. "just one thing" i begged. But all I got was silence... and then "hold on, trust me".
It took all my strength to confess my anger to my friend. Then even more to forgive. There was still deep hurt, attacked by silence and insecurity and guilt. the lie that I cannot worship.. and my past, the very opposite of true worship to Jesus.
Finally my friend said, "God saying you ARE a true worshiper and that's why you should lead worship."
Wow. His word... that one answer to my question: what do you like about me? I could NEVER have imagined an answer like that. I couldn't accept it at first. and if I couldn't receive His word to me, that I AM His true worshiper, I would die. and I really felt that. Because He spoke truth, So to not walk into that truth would be to chose a lie, which is death. there is no middle ground with God. So my friend prayed with me, and I was totally released!

At the Global Youth Outreach a leader suddenly layed his hands on me to pray. "As deep calls to deep.... you will worship Him in Spirit and Truth." I bawled.

He DOES hear the cries of my heart.