So tired... my eyes are burning. I´d rather crawl into bed, wake up in the morning, crawl up to the roof and sit vegetable like with Jesus. But if I neglect this blog a day longer, I may never return.
So. Week six and seven of WISE.
My DNA is changing. After reconciling a friendship one night, a group of us headed out to Dairy Queen in the golden zone. Before we could get a taxi, a guy ran up to us at an intersection, shouting. I usually ignore men shouting at me. But my friend shook his hand.
He asked if we were Christians, and as we confirmed that yes indeed we followed Jesus, he broke down, and for ten minutes begged us to help him. A member of the cartel, branded, addicted to drugs, he had scars up and down his arms from trying to cut his veins, and doing herione. Had a gun at home, ready to kill himself, but he knew God was real. And over and over he implored us that he wanted to change, but needed someone to tell him the word of God.
Hah, it took a minute for us to convince him we wanted to help! So as I translated for Chirs, two girls ran back to the base for a Bible to give him. For 45 minutes we shared, prayed, and battled through crap with him. He accepted Jesus, recieved forgiveness for killing a man, forgave his Father for abusing and raping him. So increadible. Especially how our little group worked key rolls.
By the end, he took another ten minutes thanking us profusly, smiling with the joy of God. We never did get to Dairy Queen.
The past week our school went up to the mountains. First two days of leading prophetic worship and evangelism with the church in Durango. After that... climbing rocks and trees and cliffs, and chasing ice cold waterfalls. Silence and solitude with God.
Despite this beauty, I fell apart on the last night. I forget why I exsist sometimes. Freak out about my future, when I don´t see it through the Word of God and His love. Where do I go... what do I do... who will be there for me... But how easily I forget IT´S NOT ABOUT ME.
Jesus said, 'pick up your daily cross. deny yourself. follow me. seek the kingdom above all else, and i´ll give you what you need.'
So LOCATION is irrelevant. I should go, and do whatever will make me more like Him. And sometiems I get so caught up on not hearing His direction super clear, but He told me 'I´m waiting to see what you´re going to do.' This hit me so hard. Cause I´m indecisive. Yet the God of the universe takes the most delight in me, when I´m feeling blind, yet choose to go after Him anyway.
Life is a billion decisions every single day. So to safe guard us, God challenges us to set our heart on ONE THING. For Solomon it was the wisdom and knowledge of the Lord, for David it was God´s presence.
And for me? The ONE THING I´m setting my heart on? To seek in all I do? The Glory of God. To not run away, but break through the veil into the holy of holies. And up in the mountains God told me...
'look around. this earth and universe I´ve made is FILLED with my glory. Yet it´s NOTHING compared to the glory I´ve placed in you'
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Hamburger Ministry
Week Four and Five of WISE school. Flying past like a wirlwind.
After a crazy Sunday afternoon, I ran downtown to tell my beggar girls I couldn´t teach them today. Coming to the corner of a busy intersection, I saw a giant pair of legs and a butt sticking out. Some homeless person passed out on the sidewalk.
´Okay,´ I thoguht. ´If this is a dude, I´m not talking to him.´ But as I stepped over the legs, I realized she was a woman.
I dropped to my hands and knees, ´Como te llamas preciosa?´ (What´s your name precious?)
She started mumbing, and held out her dirty hand for money. I took her hand and told her I wanted to TALK with her. Once she finally got the picture, she sat up, geting more excited. I had $20 pesos, so she took me to Burger King down the block. bottle of liquor, wine, plastic bags and everything. She wanted a hamburger. But after running back and forth from the register a few times, I realized Burger King is freaking overpriced. The ONLY thing I could buy for $20 pesos were four pinky sized chiken fries.
So we nibbled on that, talked, she kept offering me her alcohol. Going on about ´eating the bread and drinking the wine´ like what Jesus said about eating and drinking his body at the last super. Crazy excuse to be an alcoholic. But I told her that in eating and drinking Jesus, he wasn´t talking about PHYSICAL things. but being INTIMATE with him. cause he created her, and loves her, and wants her. but it´s a decision. Those words really had her, she didn´t say anything. Just stared with big eyes.
We needed to leave. The beggar girls I knew were staring at us through the window and I had to get back for dinner prep. But before we went our seperate ways I asked if I could pray for her. And as soon as I started, a man walked out of Burger King, didn´t say a word. and handed her a hamburger.
God is freaking awesome.
After a crazy Sunday afternoon, I ran downtown to tell my beggar girls I couldn´t teach them today. Coming to the corner of a busy intersection, I saw a giant pair of legs and a butt sticking out. Some homeless person passed out on the sidewalk.
´Okay,´ I thoguht. ´If this is a dude, I´m not talking to him.´ But as I stepped over the legs, I realized she was a woman.
I dropped to my hands and knees, ´Como te llamas preciosa?´ (What´s your name precious?)
She started mumbing, and held out her dirty hand for money. I took her hand and told her I wanted to TALK with her. Once she finally got the picture, she sat up, geting more excited. I had $20 pesos, so she took me to Burger King down the block. bottle of liquor, wine, plastic bags and everything. She wanted a hamburger. But after running back and forth from the register a few times, I realized Burger King is freaking overpriced. The ONLY thing I could buy for $20 pesos were four pinky sized chiken fries.
So we nibbled on that, talked, she kept offering me her alcohol. Going on about ´eating the bread and drinking the wine´ like what Jesus said about eating and drinking his body at the last super. Crazy excuse to be an alcoholic. But I told her that in eating and drinking Jesus, he wasn´t talking about PHYSICAL things. but being INTIMATE with him. cause he created her, and loves her, and wants her. but it´s a decision. Those words really had her, she didn´t say anything. Just stared with big eyes.
We needed to leave. The beggar girls I knew were staring at us through the window and I had to get back for dinner prep. But before we went our seperate ways I asked if I could pray for her. And as soon as I started, a man walked out of Burger King, didn´t say a word. and handed her a hamburger.
God is freaking awesome.
Monday, May 3, 2010
the Practice of Doing Nothing
Woah, wrestling with God again!
After Spiritual Warfare week, we had a morning of deliverance. Cough up those demons! haha, but seriously there is ALWAYS more freedom in Christ. Spirits of shame, lust, and self-condemnation, all damned to hell.
But the key here is WALKING IN FREEDOM.
So as we were taxing back from Wal-mart I felt that self-pity, condemnation tempting me back. But instead I turn to God, "what you teaching me here?"
He told me I'd gone waaay off track with ministering to the beggars. I was running around with my head cut off trying to buy them 'stuff', like a leg brace (which is awesome, don't get me wrong) but I was doing it out of God's direction. Not trusting him, getting upset when I couldn't find anything. And ultimately taking time away from visiting them.
So He told me, "You spending your time WITH them, is MORE valuable than anything you can buy"
Wow. I got Rachael to pray with me, cast out condemnation, and invited the Holy Spirit back. His love is so awesome when you receive it in kid like trust, I just started laughing uncontrollably.
Then, the next day, I visited Patrocinia (a beggar) she let her two daughters come to the YWAM base with me! Finally, after a month! I gave them a short english lesson, then we went to play at the beach, cause they'd NEVER been to the ocean!! I could NOT believe that! They live in Mazatlan!
But it was so amazing. And their Mom's smile when I walked them back downtown. Oooh priceless. So Jesus is moving, and I'm just along for the ride, haha.
After Spiritual Warfare week, we had a morning of deliverance. Cough up those demons! haha, but seriously there is ALWAYS more freedom in Christ. Spirits of shame, lust, and self-condemnation, all damned to hell.
But the key here is WALKING IN FREEDOM.
So as we were taxing back from Wal-mart I felt that self-pity, condemnation tempting me back. But instead I turn to God, "what you teaching me here?"
He told me I'd gone waaay off track with ministering to the beggars. I was running around with my head cut off trying to buy them 'stuff', like a leg brace (which is awesome, don't get me wrong) but I was doing it out of God's direction. Not trusting him, getting upset when I couldn't find anything. And ultimately taking time away from visiting them.
So He told me, "You spending your time WITH them, is MORE valuable than anything you can buy"
Wow. I got Rachael to pray with me, cast out condemnation, and invited the Holy Spirit back. His love is so awesome when you receive it in kid like trust, I just started laughing uncontrollably.
Then, the next day, I visited Patrocinia (a beggar) she let her two daughters come to the YWAM base with me! Finally, after a month! I gave them a short english lesson, then we went to play at the beach, cause they'd NEVER been to the ocean!! I could NOT believe that! They live in Mazatlan!
But it was so amazing. And their Mom's smile when I walked them back downtown. Oooh priceless. So Jesus is moving, and I'm just along for the ride, haha.
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