I want to see

Just be honest. Dare to expose what's really going on. And then truth will set you free.

I moped around frustrated for days. For me, it all comes down to what I see... envision. And without vision the people perish. Die..."frito" as they say in espanol. A reoccurring question God asks me, "What do you see?" I saw that I was blind. So so blind!
Here's a story. Jesus is leaving a city, and this blind guy starts screaming hysterically for him. Everybody tells the guy to shut up, but he doesn't. So Jesus calls him over, and asks, "what do you want me to do for you?"
He replies, "Rabbi, I want to see."
'Go," Jesus says,"Your faith has healed you." Instantly the man recovers his sight. (Mark 10)

"What do you want me to do for you?"
For the first time in a while I cried because I was in anguish. Hard as I try, I've been trapped behind my erroneous thinking. I want to see! All I want to know is what it means to be a part of your family. I want to see who you are. What you've done... what you are doing now. What you will do. I want to see past the superficial. Past the circumstances.
The next three days you came and opened my eyes.

You took me through years of my past and asked, "Now, where was I?" Love took on a new meaning. Love is a verb. I saw that moment when I was tripping on acid. When you took your protective hand away from me...so I could see hell and feel the despair and consequences of my decisions. The whole time I was screaming, "Jesus where are you?" But you were right behind me, arms wrapped around me. God... my God.

The second day you showed me the pride in my heart. The pride that wouldn't receive your love, or love others. When you opened my eyes, I was disgusted!! "No, no, no." I won't have that in me, or anywhere near me. And you opened my eyes to see it really does all come down to love. A real, active love I can LIVE in.

And today. Today I was honest with my boss. I'm suppose to lead this school, but I don't know what's going on...is it really mine, or am I just a puppet leader? I didn't want things to get messy...but hey life is messy sometimes. And I saw Jesus is the one who holds all things together, not me. After clarifying the issues, my boss and I ended up laughing hysterically for an hour and missing the staff meeting. Totally messy... totally redeeming.

Oh I love life with my eyes wide open...