Fix your eyes

This is a new season and how I love FREEDOM!

With all the ins and outs of running a school, God's been inviting me to get up earlier. Spend time with Him before the day gets crazy. Sometimes I keep hitting snooze.... and other times even if I do get up, I sit in a stupor, groping around for God's voice through a floggy mind.
How do I wake up? Not just physically but in my soul? ALL of me, alive to Him, aware of Him. I remember once he griped me with a sight into eternity. Not that eternity goes on and on forever so far away, because he is not a distant God. But that eternity is NOW, a moment deeper deeper deeper... a God closer than my heartbeat.

So I ask Him, God why arn't you near like this all the time? And he shows me a picture of a little girl in her daddy's arms. Squeezing her eyes shut an inch from his face saying, "I can't see you! I can't see you!"
It's becoming so obvious when I'm refusing to look him straight in the eyes. To really believe that He cherishes me. Right where I am.

"Are you taking pleasure in Me?"

I realized this question will guard my heart from the fear of man. If I'm looking at Him and delighting in Him, how could I give my attention to the approval of others? It's one or the other. Who's eyes am I finding myself in?
I am ready for him to set my whole being free!

Unique

I didn't truly feel back in Mexico until this morning. Sunday morning service in a dark little room, surrounded by dancing singing shouting worshipers. Suddenly I feel Him tugging gentlly on my heart to go deeper... Let go of trying to control everything.
"Should be like this, or should be doing that" NO. Comparison is a horrible thing. Finally repented, running in and out of the ocean waves. So tired of TRYING, when really I can't force myself to be anything I'm not.

God made me... well, me. It's taken me this long to really grasp that. I hear Him differently, love Him differently... and it's all vital. Each one of us the way we are with God is so vital.

I realized that's my dream. God's heart yes, but even more the Bride - that is ALL of us - embracing Jesus face to face.