I'm back.
I didn't realize how much I missed Mexico until the warm breeze swallowed me, the sun a golden torch spilling across Mazatlan. Wow! Those two weeks in the States gave me a fresh perspective! I seriously felt romanced driving into the city. I didn't even mind the rude boys hanging off our car window at a traffic light, trying to get a hook up with some "gringas" (white chics).
And the YWAM base! Like reuniting with the biggest family I've known. I don't care if the toilets still take two minutes to flush, this place is home and it ROCKS!
Right now we're having a camp for the youth groups in the city, so the base is alive with activity. Because of the recent violence and killings due to drug trafficking we want to teach the kids how to wage war. And that's why I bought 4,000 paint balls!! Take some drug lords down!! mwaha!
No. This isn't a physical war, but a spiritual one. Against the greed and darkness that kills a mans soul. But we have authority in Jesus to give God legal permission to move on the earth, cast out evil, bring His Kingdom, and change the hearts of men. (This is why I'm excited for WISE school!!)
So yesterday we climbed an island to intercede for the city. At first I didn't think the local youth would buy it...standing in the hot sun, sweaty and hungry, screaming into the air, casting out evil and declaring purity, peace, righteousness. I had asked God before to really move in their lives in these couple of days, so when we got together to share, WOW yeah, He was speaking to them. With visions, scripture, and words of wisdom. Deep stuff... These kids are open to the Holy Spirit, and if they continue I know God will use them to transform Mazatlan.
And Mexico.
And the nations.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wrestling in the Desert
Last day of visiting home.
In the middle of my two-week desert-trip back to Wisconsin, while washing the dishing and worshiping, I broke down feeling like an utter failure. As we know feelings never give the complete picture. So I went before God, bearing my heart, bawling like baby.
Yes, cool things had happened. Yes, God HAD moved threw me to impact people. But God specializes in using losers, it's no impressive feat to Him. So that wasn't it...
No, I felt like a failure because I intended these two desert weeks to really seek out God, intercede for my friends, not moving on until He told me to move on, just being intimate with Christ. But instead I was letting myself be distracted as heck, barely spending time with God, not really getting his leading.
That's when I finally threw away the cigars I had just bought. Not because smoking is a sin, or throwing them out would magically fix things. But every time I'd light up for a quick buzz, the Holy Spirit would remind me of this verse.
"Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit." ephesians 5:18
Filled with HIM. I want the maximum of me to be filled by Him. Nothing else. In that time God also spoke to me about vulnerability. Because I was NOT feeling strong. But He told me, "It's not how strong you are in Me, it's how strong I AM in you." And the question that immediately followed, "So how much of Me are you letting in? How deep are you letting Me go?"
That's the paradox of vulnerability. Let your defenses down, and He'll come in and make you a fortress no army can destroy. It's beautiful. Really hard, and really beautiful.
In the middle of my two-week desert-trip back to Wisconsin, while washing the dishing and worshiping, I broke down feeling like an utter failure. As we know feelings never give the complete picture. So I went before God, bearing my heart, bawling like baby.
Yes, cool things had happened. Yes, God HAD moved threw me to impact people. But God specializes in using losers, it's no impressive feat to Him. So that wasn't it...
No, I felt like a failure because I intended these two desert weeks to really seek out God, intercede for my friends, not moving on until He told me to move on, just being intimate with Christ. But instead I was letting myself be distracted as heck, barely spending time with God, not really getting his leading.
That's when I finally threw away the cigars I had just bought. Not because smoking is a sin, or throwing them out would magically fix things. But every time I'd light up for a quick buzz, the Holy Spirit would remind me of this verse.
"Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit." ephesians 5:18
Filled with HIM. I want the maximum of me to be filled by Him. Nothing else. In that time God also spoke to me about vulnerability. Because I was NOT feeling strong. But He told me, "It's not how strong you are in Me, it's how strong I AM in you." And the question that immediately followed, "So how much of Me are you letting in? How deep are you letting Me go?"
That's the paradox of vulnerability. Let your defenses down, and He'll come in and make you a fortress no army can destroy. It's beautiful. Really hard, and really beautiful.
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